The thoughts I’ve been sharing in classes this week are inspired by a new Ikea “Magic Mirror.” Right now the mirror is a prototype but Ikea tested it out in Britain.
Somewhat like how the fairy tale goes, the mirror talks to you and compliments you. As part of Ikea’s test run, they decided to conduct a Dove-like experiment to see how people reacted to what they saw in the mirror. The mirror asked, “Do you like what you see?” and then people answered along a sliding scale of “eh, not so hot” to “feeling hot.” What they discovered is what we’ve all been battling——ourselves and being so overly critical and judgmental of ourselves—saying they were not happy with what they saw.
This reminds me of something I read recently—”Your best is always good enough, because it comes from you, and you are always good enough.”
How many times have you put your effort towards something to only say, “Well, I did my best” in such a settling tone as if your best wasn’t enough? If you really think about it, this self-criticism or self-judgement you place on yourself either comes from ego or the need deliver someone else’s idea of the best. It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of trying to be the best—to look your best, be the best friend, spouse, parent, or employee. More often than not, our desire to look or be the best is based on someone else’s vision of success.
Now there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but you really have to look deep to see what is driving that. If you let go of that tendency to live up to other people’s standards and let go of the need to compete and win, it doesn’t mean that you’re not doing the best job you can. Rather, it means you’re fulfilling your OWN potential and staying true to yourself and your own purpose, regardless of how other’s perceive you or the outcome.
So whether its on the mat, off the mat, in front of the mirror (talking or not), how you look, what you do, quit short-changing yourself & remind yourself:
“Your best is ALWAYS good enough, because it comes from you, and you are ALWAYS good enough.”
My theme this week has been based on this interesting story I read recently.
“There is a tribe in Africa called the Himba tribe, where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they were born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was a thought in its mother’s mind. And when a woman decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she meditates and listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come. And after she’s heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child’s father, and teaches it to him. And then, when they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it.
And then, when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches that child’s song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child’s song to welcome it. And then, as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child’s song. If the child falls, or hurts its knee, someone picks it up and sings its song to it. Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rites of puberty, then as a way of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.
In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.
The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.
And it goes this way through their life. In marriage, the songs are sung, together. And finally, when this child is lying in bed, ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing—for the last time—the song to that person.”
Isn’t that story so interesting? It’s so off topic, but there’s this Family Guy episode (I know, haha) where Peter Griffin wants to have his own “theme song” to play as he moves through his day. And essentially, this Himba tribe tradition is creating a theme song for a person from the moment it comes to a mother’s time in meditation, through that person’s whole life, to the day that person dies.
You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you to celebrate your happy moments or sings to you during your challenging ones, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not. When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes it may help you.
As yogis, I like to think that our breath is our song. It works in a similar way, carrying us through our good moments and the challenging ones too. The song of our breath keeps us in tune.
Last week I themed classes based on Ahimsa (Sanskrit for non-harming) and it was so interesting to see how that theme morphed into other life lessons. When I told you about the woman on her phone, some of you said things like “Hope she never comes to class again,” or “oh, because its Lifetime,” or “What’s wrong with people.” Um, folks, YOU were not practicing Ahimsa either.
Funny thing is that we are so quick to judge and point fingers without really knowing the whole story. Now, some of you gave this woman the benefit of the doubt saying that maybe she was having a bad day and could actually take her yoga & its lessons to heart to maybe change things. And, that my friends, IS Ahimsa—offering up love and compassion.
I found out much later that this woman was, in fact, having a really bad day. The contempt she had on her face during the class was not directed towards me. It was because she had a hard time letting go of the pain, which happened to show forth in her face and body. That only goes to show that we don’t always know what kind of crap people are going through. She came to the mat for the same purpose as you. It was just harder for her to practice her own Ahimsa. So, why put more harm onto someone already in pain?
Now, those who placed judgment, you’re not bad people. You’re only human. We unfortunately tend to quickly place blame, hurt, or judgment not only onto others, but onto even ourselves—saying we’re not good enough or we are failures. Even I am victim of not practicing what I preach. I am not perfect either. It happens.
Our practice of yoga is a constant reminder to live Ahimsa. To live with love and compassion. To move and breathe within the asanas with love and compassion. In turn, to treat others, to think of others and ourselves, with love and compassion.
It’s a lot harder to do than you think! We can be impulsive people who place undue harm onto others or ourselves if we don’t think before we act upon our thoughts. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation of harm in any form, take a moment, breathe, and practice Ahimsa. Love.